"... what now?!?"

what now?!? (iPhone)

12/14/09 will be remembered as the official day Photo A180 ended! Mixed emotions of sorts; go home early and not camp out in the dark room, no assignments to turn in vs. sleepless nights of conceptualizing the next project and cutting window mat boards. These are the things that I have to go through every day for the past 3 months.. my life was A180, I breathe and live (and smell) A180! Ask my wife if I existed from September 2009 - December 2009 and she'd probably say "Who's Maurice?".

Just like elementary school where every child is excited to get done with school and spend summer somewhere else... I felt otherwise. I was not the first student to jump off my seat bolting out the door, nor did you see a genuine smile when asked "are you happy this is over?". I was sad to know that this run is now over. When I can clearly remember not wanting to sign Agatha's contract to be part of this class, to dropping this subject on week 2 to get my full refund. I now look back 13 weeks after to ask myself "How did I get through this class?" and "Why did I stick around for 11 more weeks?" when I have pretty much decided my faith of not continuing. Why go through long nights at the dark room; hustling and jostling to get your prints done... calling in Monday afternoon to get a low reservation number, to checking the studio schedule to make sure you secure one. Why bother make friends with people in the cage who are actually amazing people to know. Why burn away your Saturday scheduling a remote shoot and after run back to school to process your films. Why... why... why?

It was plain and simple... Family. I've meet great people in this class that it did not feel like school atmosphere, instead it was a family gathering less the dining table. It was the feeling that you know someone has your back, that if you fall behind... rest assured someone is there to pick you up. Agatha has become an amazing "mother" making sure everyone becomes successful with their responsibilities as her "sons" and "daughters". My family had one cool and collected brother (Ricky), a sister who neutralizes our emotions (Shannon), and a sister who is driven and motivated to make this family successful (Lan).


I am glad to have met all of them, and be part of this family which not only existed in school... but will continue to exist as we take our own journey's in life.

... now what? It does feel weird - coming home early, no shoots or assignments to worry about, the smell or developer/fixer on your fingers (my fingers tend to smell more - thanks to that leaking film canister!), the line at the cage.

I guess I have to savor the temporary month vacation before I go back to school on February. 'Till then... I will miss you guys... and see you all in school!

* Stay tuned... I will continue to keep my blog updated :)